My Life as I know it

im so tired. i feel like ive been through it all but i know i havent. i dont understand why this shit is so complicated. i just want to have fun. it wouldnt hurt if it were with one person. but instead i get lied to, then lied on and everything else in the middle. ive stopped blaming everyone else,that cant be it,but i wont begin to blame myself just yet. at this point it doesnt matter anymore anyway…

i hate to argue, its not my thing, but im so upset right now. i dont want to yell or scream or even call names, i honestly just want to know why. why you are acting this way, why im being treated this way, just why. im over wanting you back, that shit is long gone. youre an asshole and i dont need that in my life, but i would like to have a better understanding on why some of the shit that happens in my life happens. i know pride has played a hand in this but there is some real evil here too. to lie is one thing, but to lie about something like this is just bullshit. i dont know what to think. you are changing, and for the worst. i hate to see it happen, but that shit is not my problem anymore i dont guess. doors shut so windows can open, so ill be fine, something better is coming my way.

but i cant do this shit right now.